Nina ♥ ☁ ☼ ★ ♬ (nunuuu) wrote,
Nina ♥ ☁ ☼ ★ ♬

Just only stars

I can't believe Shige's Aoi Hitorigoto column in Myojo is ending. Oh how my heart aches

I remember first stumbling into his articles a couple years ago. Back then, I never knew that a Japanese idol like Shige existed: how can someone who sings pop songs in a boyband in feathered, glittery outfits be this astute and literary? I was so bowled over. Through numerous Aoi Hitorigoto essays he has written, I've fallen in love with Shige and how he expresses himself. He has a clear-eyed, balanced outlook in life that is spun into beautiful words by his literary heart, inspired by his deep regard for art and the people he loves, and more often than not, arrived at thanks to his offbeat (and sometimes arrogant) humor and his ready laughter for his shortcomings and failures.What deepens the connection for me is that he's only one year older than me, and I frequently think we're so similar. Not in a we're-meant-to-be-together kind of similar, but just... similar. The same, I tell you. He's always been so painfully self-conscious and self-aware, just like I am, and that is the meat of his writing (as it is mine). But he's on a completely different level, and I'm willing to bet his writing reads even better in its original Japanese, which I sadly can't read. I want to be able to, one day. Shige's words are compelling exactly because he is always nothing but honest. He might not be the best dancer or singer or actor in Johnny's, but he more than makes up for it with sheer personality, gravitas, and character. And please, he finished law. He's geeky, awkward, funny, and sincere. I will never understand people who say he's boring. 

This is an excerpt from one of my favorite essays of his, written about his visit to a Salvador Dali art exhibit:

"Dalí continued to produce art to show his love for Gala. But as a result, his art touched the hearts of many people. Maybe someone creates art to express his love with all his heart, then this art becomes a stimulus for someone else who in turn creates his own piece of art for the person he loves. This mixture of love becomes the nurturing ground for new art. Someday I want to meet my fated someone, the person I can continue to love my whole life. It would be great if at that time I could express my love in an equally charming way as Dalí did."
(translation by [info]dotintheshark )

How many girls want to be the Gala to your Salvador Dali, Shige, you'll never know. (Thousands! Millions! Me!!!)

#36 Maybe it's not possible now. But someday, I hope I can become the light that shines through between the clouds. I hope I can be closer to the sun. I may come to like the blue sky as much as I like the rain.

#33 I have thought of dying for a number of times. But I have not actually given up on myself or tried to stop breathing. I felt this way. If I have experienced something so painful to the point of dying, then I would have already died once. If you want to give up everything, then you can just be reborn as many times.

#40 But if you don't make any excuses and just run on ahead, I think you will be able to see the finishing line in one way or another. To express this in the "Slam Dunk" style, it's the same as "If you give up, it's the end of the match".

#42 But having said that, I'm still too young and too shallow to be talking about something with such a history like tea, even though I am matured beyond my years. The road to understanding something so profound like tea is not something so simple and it is something that I realize everyday. To compare myself to the tea, I would still be something like a "tea leaf that has yet to even sprout".
Translation by [info]towa_no_imi 

#4 The silver shoes lead me to the happiness that is my own individuality. I will become a man who will be able to wear strange shoes as if they weren't strange at all.

#7 There will never be the same wave twice. The now that comes along together with the wave, these moments will never come again.

#14 Hardship and pain, the feeling of having accomplished something, the feeling of joy, in other words, all feelings that tend to overflow from your body, they turn into salty tears, I think. It's your heart that has shaped these feelings into tears, your heart which is overflowing so that everyone can see. This is what tears are, I guess.

#18 I don't want to make lies out to be something beautiful, I just want everyone to understand that there are beautiful lies hiding among the bad ones. The fact that one makes up a lie not to boost one's own ego, but because one doesn't want to see the other person sad.

#12 By now this is a memory. A page in the book of my youth. It was painful, but I don't want to forget what I felt at that time. I wonder if I will have my heart broken again in the time to come. A love that reduces me to a pathetic mass of tears, even though I'm a man. The nineteenth spring of my life, where I thought that no matter how old I get, I want to stay as sensitive as I am.

#15 "Several days after I had returned from Kyôto, I noticed that a weed was growing in a small opening in the doorframe. It was beautiful and admirable how it tried to flourish in such a small space, it warmed my heart and I watched over it. But someday, this weed disappeared. When I asked my parents, my father explained he had pulled it out because insects were coming in this way. A beautiful thing is beautiful in the eye of everyone who looks at it. For me who had believed in this, that was a shocking event.

But despite this, I still want to believe. A beautiful thing does not choose its beholder. And the heart who can think of it as beautiful, is something just beautiful itself."
Translation by [info]dotintheshark 

#26 The only medicine that can kill the bacteria festering in your heart is other people.
Translation by [info]calasander 

#35 Despair and hope, beginning and end, life and death. Here is a repetition of such contradictory things. And me standing there some time again, such an existence maybe. While thinking that I'l miss picking up the sand, that then scattered from my hand, getting carried away by the wind, I looked through the finder of the camera once more.

#44 “I like language!!“ is what I think everyday. The aesthetic of of my own words. The aesthetic of people's own words.
Translation by [info]gerbil 

If you haven't read him yet, now is the time. <3

I'll miss Aoi Hitorigoto so much!!!fkldsjalsdkf;;
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